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Hot Docs 2020: “Her Mothers” ★★★


The process of adoption is a long, overwhelming, and most times, a stressful process; many get into it only due to certain circumstances. Now imagine how difficult LGBT adoption might be. While in one country there might be no issues at all but in others, it is a taboo. Nonetheless, it’s ultimately a matter of love that an individual must give to a child who will have two Moms or Dads but will be equally loved regardless.

Virag and Nora are partners. As they dream of having a family of their own, they hope to have the missing element that could fulfill their life – a child. But due to the radicalized political climate in Hungary, the couple struggles to adopt a child. But even if they managed to do that, they must decide amongst themselves the role they will play in the child’s life. Nothing is easy and they have their own challenges but when Virag was able to adopt a girl, a whole new set of problems arise.

Virag, a former green politician, understandably loses faith in the democratic parliament of Hungry. The LGBTQ community is at stake. Nora and Virag want nothing more than having a child in their lives. In the meantime, the film focuses on their story, their path towards the adoption of Meli, the little girl who will have to watch this documentary once she grows up to understand and acknowledge the battle her mothers had to fight in order to have her as part of the family.

After adoption, they start having new problems. While the rising tides of homophobia in Hungary get worse day after day, Nora and Virag must find a common ground on how to parent a child. Nothing comes easy when, for instance, Meli has her preferences – having Virag as her Mom while refusing the care of Nora. But all that seems manageable except for one thing – the couple must make a decision if they want to live happily ever after – to stay in their home country and continue fighting against an unbeatable foe or leave their country behind for a better one.

“Her Mothers”, directed by Asia Dér and Sári Haragonics, provides an insight into the lives of a lesbian couple, their understanding of parenting, living in a country where they will always be seen as outsiders, and the love they must be careful of giving to the child. It is a sad and uplifting story at the same time. Through Nora and Virag, we will learn how to be strong, determined, and self-disciplined. Furthermore, as each family has its own ups and downs, Nora and Virag’s is no different. However, it’s their approach and courage that leads them towards a future, one day, they will find fulfilling along with their daughter, who is lucky enough to have double attention from her two mothers.

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